LOG ENTRY #50 – A Fresh Start..

I started this blog two years ago.

WordPress just reminded me that six days ago it was our two-year anniversary.

I missed our anniversary.

Its 5.53 am where I am, and this blog post is long overdue.

I’ve been meaning to get back to writing for fun for a long time. A lot of other things have been constantly prioritized over this. though. And regrettably so.

Its August, its nearly the end of my summer, and today is the day I get my O Level result.

I’ve been up since 3 am (ugh) and then saw that it had rained a little and then I thought “Oh hey, that’s a good sign,” and then I heard about Robin Williams.

The rain wasn’t a very good omen, now was it? And it sucks, because rain has always been my good luck charm. Or at least my ‘Don’t Worry No Turbulence Ahead’ charm.

But I was thinking yesterday – I started this blog two years ago, when I was just getting into my O Levels and picking subjects and stressing out over whether Additional Mathematics was a better option for me than Sociology, and worrying over how I would attempt a Math O level exam which would be the culmination of six years of math.

Its been a long time.

And so, I decided to stop hobo-tunneling (which is a term my friend came up for me and my infamous hiatuses) ((trust me, I take social hiatuses very frequently)) and finally get back to writing here, because there wouldn’t be a cooler date to do it.

Its the day I get my O Level result – for better or for worse – and it only seems fitting to come back here, where it all started two years ago.

I also think I owe a certain YouTuber a big thank you, for succeeding in making me MOVE. I know most YouTubers aim to do that and really get tumblr hipsters/YouTube-lovers off of their asses, but most of these guys have only temporarily affected me. Zoella, however, has me up at 5 am, redoing my entire blog and writing a blog post!

So yes, thank you for that video on anxiety and not letting it get in the way of life Zoe!

Moving on, I want to just. Write down here that I will be a lot less uptight about what I post on here. In the past, I think what got in the way of this blog going anywhere, was that I was always very touchy about what was good enough or acceptable enough or “looked cool enough” to go on here. And frankly – that is just not how I am any more. I know it sounds like a whole load of crap when people say motivational stuff, but this shit’s real. There is no point in caring what others think, especially since you are all avatars on my screen.

So, YAY FOR ME. I will write whatever I want, and sometimes it could also be just one word. (tumblr influences in the past two years, you see)

I feel like a different person for some reason when I’m writing this, and I feel really excited to share who I am, and who I’ve become and who I aspire to be.

I’ll be starting with my A-Levels in September, God willing. So far I’ve decided I want to study Economics, Literature in English, Math and World History. Although still a bit shifty about whether I want Physics more or World History.

((Father dear is frustrated because:

“DAUGHTER YOU WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST, WHY IN GOD’S NAME DO YOU WANT PHYSICS?”

“BECAUSE FATHER DEAR, QUANTUM!”

Idek.))

I think that should do it for this blog post.

I really really really really really hope I can keep up this drive and post regularly from here on out.

WISH ME LUCK FOR MY RESULT IN LESS THAN SIX HOURS ohmygod!!!!!

Zoella’s links:

youtube.com/zoella

 

twitter.com/Zozeebo

zoella.tumblr.com

 

 

 

LOG ENTRY #44 – Green Eyed Biatch.

My attempt at the Daily Prompt.

Dawn:

It hadn’t been that long since I had started dating Chase. A month and a half. It might sound unrealistic, but some times even the fraction of a second is enough to know when you really do care for another person, and that the feeling’s not going away any time soon.

And some times, your affection takes an obsessive-possessive turn.

Chase and I were in the same Public Speaking class, and the students were required to submit a project after the summer; we could use any form of self-expression – writing, talking, acting-out, poetry. Majority of the class opted to write. I chose to paint and sketch. It’s what I’m good at, it’s what I express myself through fully.

Chase decided to do a sort of video-diary. Except – it wasn’t even vaguely concerning him. Sure, he tossed in a couple of things from time to time, about how his mother thinks he’s a ‘late bloomer’ and then he presents a ton of his theories, all proving her wrong. But mostly, his video diary is centered on his pet turtle – Bernard.

Bernard is awesome. Enough said.

But the problem began when Chase started uploading his videos on YouTube, and people (read: girls) (read: desperadoes) started developing a lot of interest in them. I guess Chase must have talked about his videos on Facebook a couple of times, and before you knew it – he was being shared and re-shared on every WDC student’s wall. It wasn’t that hard to see that people didn’t care about Bernard and his so-slow-they-are-non existent-back flips.

One morning Chase is telling me about finally getting around to his crappy summer project. (“I’m doing it on Bernard. Like.. just filming him and stuff. His life, basically.”) The next morning he doesn’t even mention it at all. A few days pass and although he seems completely oblivious, I – being an avid Facebooker – had noticed the unbelievable stir his ‘turtle-videos’ had caused. People were out vacationing, since its summer and all, but they still found ample time to Wallpost Chase countless times, talking about how awesome his videos and his turtle was. And don’t even get me started on the number of adjectives Bernard got. I bet half of those girls just wanted an excuse to write ‘hot’ and ‘cute’ on Chase’s wall.

A bit of a back-story on this: Chase is that guy in movies girls slam into open locker-doors for. If he was in a movie, his every entrance and exit would be in slow-mo, accentuated with the sound of sighing girls. And that is NOT just my doe-eyed attitude towards him talking!

I was perfectly civil about it initially, because they were funny videos. I mean come on, who doesn’t like to watch a hot guy freak out like an overly-protective mother over his pet turtle’s lack of interest in moving? I guess the part that really pissed me off was that more than half his viewers… nearly all of them, actually, were girls. And not pre-pubescent, at that.

And okay fine – I did kind of go through all the profiles of the people (read: desperate girls) who were sharing his videos and commenting with their dumb “HART!”, “OHMYGOD HE’S SO CUTE!”, “Him and his Sammich. :3”-like words.

It could drive any girlfriend crazy.

I didn’t do anything for a week. Or maybe two. But then one morning, my Newsfeed showed me at least THREE girls putting up screenshots of his videos as their cover-photos. A few days later, I actually saw a meme about Chase. And then all these girls started walking up to us whenever he took me to the mall, and asking for his autographs and pictures and pretending to dote over Bernard. Pretending! I genuinely love that turtle! All those stalkers just used Bernard as bait.

God only knows how Bernard felt about all this. Poor guy; Chase stole his spotlight.

So, yes. It goes without saying I had been getting greener and greener day by day. I was tempted to update my status and tell the world about procuring my shot-gun license. But what good would that do? These weren’t wild animals who can be scared off easily. These were fangirls. And the worst part was these fangirls – unlike the usual kind – actually had a shot since they go to the same school as Chase. That, and Chase isn’t a celebrity.  He had become a web-sensation, true. But he was still a real person.

Bottom-line – I went and talked to Chase about it all. It’s easiest to do that, simpler and much less dirty work. My attitude would surprise most people. They would expect me to go all crazy-girlfriend on the swarming females. But if there is anything I’ve learnt from my sister, its that mentally hurting people is more productive and safe. And hugely satisfying. I mean you can murder one person again and again in your head, and then they just come back to life, ready for you to kill again! 😀   Funny part is – Chase didn’t even believe the part that had threw me over the edge, i.e. the cover-photos and the memes. Figures, since he barely logs onto his Facebook. But he let me delete and unfollow all those posts and pictures. He found it all very funny, actually. He didn’t stop laughing for days. -__-  Apparently me being jealous is a very appealing thought to him.

The only part he was very depressed about was people’s lack of interest in Bernard.

 

LOG ENTRY #38 – Pre-Midnight Relaxation + Random Musings

Don’t you just adore YouTube artists? They’re so great at what they do… most of the time. And YouTube videos in general? They’re just so convenient when you want to go through all the music you could ever want.  Since it’s Friday night, and I’ve just survived my first week of exams, and not done too well in my History and Culture exam today – I needed a break. So, I searched for new music and listened to old favorites.

A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton. Cover by Boyce Avenue ft Alex Goot

This song has been on repeat and once, I listened to nothing but this for 40-minutes continuously, on my way to school. There’s just something so perfect about nice tunes and the crisp, morning air. 🙂

Set Fire To The Rain – Adele. Cover by Boyce Avenue

More than Adele’s super-hit Rolling In The Deep, I fell in love with other more obscure songs of hers. I knew about this one ^ before anyone had gotten over RITD.

By and by, what do you guys think about late-night study? Can one survive without it? Can one complete one’s syllabus without it? I believe so. I’ve proved it true all these years. But every morning, I go to school and all these people are staggering to school, bragging with their eyes drooping and uniforms unbuttoned (don’t take this the wrong way. I merely mean they forget that their top button is looking really weird) and going like “I slept for one hour. I’m soooo dead, yaar!” or “Listen – I’m failing. I didn’t sleep! I. did. not. sleep.”

I’ve become immune to all of this. I didn’t understand initially why people feel the need to stay up all night. We all have the same number of hours every day, and every minute of it is equally precious to all of us. And a lot of my time is wasted in commuting – going to school and coming back. That amounts to nearly an hour and a half. So, if I can manage to sleep at 12.30 a.m. and get done with learning up nearly three centuries of the subcontinent-cum-Pakistani history (1700-1999) everybody else sure as heck can too! They don’t need to stay up till 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. or stay sleep deprived!

Digression. Blekh.

Anyway – where was I?

Red – Taylor Swift

I know this is irrelevant, sort of, since Taylor isn’t a YouTube artist. But this was on my YouTube playlist. So, meh. Does anyone else love her guitar? The red-ness is so cool. ^.^

The Right Way To Fall – Natasha Humera Ejaz

This person is just so amazing. She isn’t a YouTube artist, but she’s an up-and-coming Pakistani singer. I love love love her voice!

It is now 11.30 p.m. I started writing this post at 11. I get distracted by music so easily. I’ll write all official-log style now:

11.31 p.m. – listening to Today Is a Place by Natasha Humera Ejaz. Wondering if I like it.

11.33 p.m. –  Check this out:

Hi, wanna get together? Forever? 8)

11.34 p.m. – My brother’s watching Smack Down. I hate it when boys lose their sense of hearing whenever their in front of a match. Of any kind.

11.36 p.m. – Oh my! Look the orange-plus sign-in-the-circle! Someone’s followed me! 😀 #joy

11.38 p.m. – Just because I’m feeling happy right now, I shall ping-back my 34th follower!

11.39 p.m. – Is it weird that I haven’t even checked out her blog yet? 😮

11.41 p.m. – Today Is A Place – Natasha Humera Ejaz

I’ve had enough of this for one night. 😛 Here’s one last, old favorite of mine. Even though most probably won’t understand it since it’s in Urdu, but hopefully it’ll still be fun to listen to.

O Humdum/Say My Name – The Cheapmunks

p.s. i just checked it out – I am the only person talking about/using the tag ‘Natasha Humera Ejaz’,’ Uth Records’ and ‘The Cheapmunks’. So, yay for that? O.o (I’m disappointed in you WordPress people!)

LOG ENTRY #36 – And this is why I always loved this girl..

No jokes – I always really liked Miley Cyrus. Of course there were phases when she went completely bonkers and all teen-angsty on the world but hey –  whatever. It’s not like I have to go live with her or something. The only thing I connect with Miley Cyrus – is a great voice and good music. Sure, there were a whole lot of random, teeny-pop songs in the middle, but there was some good stuff in her voice which made everything bearable, if not worthwhile.

And then there was the recent question of her hair. Can I just say I didn’t hate it at all? In fact – it hardly mattered to me. Sure I was surprised (really surprised) but when I saw the first few pictures online, I was like “She could actually pull this one off..”

She went pretty ‘under-the-radar’ for sometime, and I didn’t listen to any new songs from her. I recently caught an interview of her’s on MBC or some other Arabic channel and she looked really nice in her new hair-do! There was also a small preview of the new song she’s done with Borgore – ‘Decisions’. Firstly – I have absolutely no idea who Borgore is. Secondly – the thing that caught my attention, was the lyrics.

She sings: ‘Decisions, but I want it all so I get it all. I wanna eat the whole cake
I’ m not sharing, I’m not sharing You should have to learn how to bake
Yes I want it all so I get it all I wanna eat the hole cake”

How completely random is that? But I still loved the song for some reason! And really looking forward to her upcoming album. This artist is one whose albums (I think) I’ll always look forward to! Call it a childhood obsession (I grew up with Hannah Montana songs) or call it a genuine inclination for her music.

But the best part about it is – even though she may love doing songs like ‘Decisions’ – we all know, or at least I know, that she is capable of such good vocals and she can sing so many great songs that it doesn’t even matter if she does mainstream music.

Then there was her doing ‘Lilac Wine’ which is an acoustic, Backyard Sessions performance I happened to come across today. I swear I loved this song immediately. Partly because I love anything and everything acoustic and partly because it is really, really good. Also – for some reason (not the name!), this reminded me of ‘Summer Wine ‘. She has such a full and rich voice.

There was another Backyard Session song she did called ‘Look What They’ve Done to My Song’. I can’t access the link right now, because of the whole you-can’t-access-YouTube-thing going on in Pakistan nowadays, in case you aren’t aware. 🙂

Let me know what you think of the ever-controversial Miley Cyrus ..