For starters, I am done with my first semester at college and it went by pretty fast, as promised by my sophomore friends.
And I have this delicious longer-than-a-month break stretching ahead of me and I don’t know what to do with myself. For once in my life I feel energized and not-lethargic during a long break. I feel like taking back my life.
Segway to a moment in New York City a few weeks back–
It’s a nice dinner and small talk is being made. We are midway in a group conversation and a nice boy asks me what my hobbies are/what I like to do. And I shrug and list off my staples. “Reading, writing, music, movies..”
And he pauses and comments, “Oh, so the usual. Nothing special.”
I wasn’t in the mood to elaborate so I said, “Yeah, okay.”
This conversation came back to me a few nights ago and started to bother me. Is that list of activities really all that I am? Probably not, but I still needed to map it all out to convince myself.
Do I even have the right to call myself a reader anymore? For the past 3 years, I have only been able to read a handful of novels and those too only in the summers, when schoolwork is not grating on my nerves. And even when I read, it’s nothing to write home about. It’s either trashy YA or something ordinary and un-amazing. I have not read majority of the staples that a well-read person should have checked off ages ago.
Can I honestly call myself a writer? I update this blog maybe thrice a year and I write nothing besides that, although I do dream up things to write every single day and every single car-ride, hoping I’ll build up the will to start someday soon.
So even if I were to stretch the truth and insist on being considered a reader and a writer, I still cannot assert that I am well-read or that I’m a committed writer.
But let me not take all this completely lying down.
I do have real interests. All that time and energy I put into theatre during high school was not for college applications – it was all because I loved it. I can sing. I host a radio show on weekends at college, I like going to watch plays and I have a specific taste in music. I don’t just listen to whatever comes on – I pick and curate playlists for myself.
It’s not all bad and bland.
However, all that being said, I think it is definitely time to explore some new interests.
I want to try tennis. I want to start reading classic novels, something I ran from as a kid. I want to start writing stories, another thing I never properly pursued. I would always leave stories half-finished when I was younger. I also want to get a nice camera and start photography. Also filming shorts. (This last one I really want to try.)
I think I can start on the photography pretty soon because college lets you borrow professional cameras from the media center.
All I hope for now is that I am able to maintain my motivation and will-power and actually go ahead with all of this.